since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
