i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
