Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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