You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
