I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
