Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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