something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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