Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
