i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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