oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
