nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
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Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
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Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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