I seem to have left my pride at pride
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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