...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
