I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
how does that bad decision feel?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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