$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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