I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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