You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
