i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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