At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
