Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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