so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish they made helmets for livers.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
