I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
