I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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