It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
