I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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