Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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