I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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