wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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