Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
love makes seman taste better
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
