help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
