i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
