I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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