I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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