Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
