actually, I'm a sock model
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
