My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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