im drinking this country out of the recession.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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