Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
