fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver just had a heart attack.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize