You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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