omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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