I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
FUCK WHALES
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
