a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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