My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
