google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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