Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Randomize
