she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
