May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
