we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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