It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
