Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
