I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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