hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
