worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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