Ambien. No doubt about it.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize