D3 body, D1 cock
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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