I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
