i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
