so explain again why im purple
no
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
