I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
3 2 1 whiskey
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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