i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
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I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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