she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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