I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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