i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
